I don’t think I’ve ever said this out loud. The first time I even thought about it was while I was driving home from the gym.
I always said to myself, and to whoever asked, that I quit blogging because I needed a break to find myself and to find my purpose (as Tamara Webb likes to put it). However, I knew deep down that it wasn’t the real reason and maybe that’s why it took me SO long to get back. The real reason why I took a break from blogging is that it was getting too much and I couldn’t catch up.
I couldn’t catch up with the pace that other bloggers were progressing and that scared the shit out of me. I felt that my work was constantly being threatened, that it is was never good enough, and that I constantly needed to strive to compete against a battle I knew I was losing. As much as I loved my blog and content creation, the industry was slowly changing from bloggers to influencers. Influencers like Sarah Zerafa were growing more and more every day and with good reason. Sarah creates these picture perfect images that are incredibly creative. I am in constant awe of the time, effort and creativity that Sarah puts into her work. My struggle was that I knew I could never be that. As much as I love content creation and as much as I love being creative, I knew I wasn’t THAT good at it and I struggled to accept that. I’m not trying to degrade myself or my work but, I also believe that accepting your limitations is an important part of coming to terms with yourself.
I was getting more and more discouraged every day. So I unintentionally started creating less and decided to stop posting for a while. Until I started to miss it. But I believe this break put things into perspective. All these influencers are still here but somehow I don’t feel threatened by them anymore. I realised that what they are creating is not necessarily what I want to achieve. There is nothing wrong with creating instagrammable photos – as I said, I am simply in awe of their creativity.
But above all – I missed my own creative space. I missed the feeling of communicating with the world, even if it might be just a couple of hundred people. I might not have 10K+ followers but I feel connected and so happy that after all this time away, there are still people who care about what I have to say. As cheesy as it sounds, I’ve always believed that if I can help/communicate with even just one person out there – I will be more than satisfied. So, I guess what I want to create is a space to share my experiences with you, whether it’s fashion, beauty, travel, lifestyle. Just a regular person sharing my experiences – and for the first time in a long time – I am perfectly fine with that.
Thank you for sticking around! You’ll hear more from me soon!