It took me a long time to admit this but, as a teen, I was never comfortable with myself. I did not like the way I looked. I was always the one with the nerdy glasses and the goody two shoes attitude. Although I realise now that none of those things make me a lesser person than anyone else, it used to bother me so much at the time. As I grew older, I always thought that I was never good enough in anything I seem to do. I never knew how to play sports and I always did well at school because I studied and not because I felt I was intelligent enough to form an argument. It’s safe to say I had ZERO confidence in myself.
I’m now 24 years old and I’m not so self-conscious anymore. I’m growing up into someone I used to admire when I was younger. I’m not trying to sound like I’ve got myself completely figured out. FAR FROM THAT. The journey of finding myself is an ongoing process but I can say that I know myself a little bit better now than I did a couple of years ago. Old age does that to you, I suppose.
Apart from being more comfortable with myself mentally and physically, I realised that I’ve started to find my voice and that’s something I’ve struggled with all my life. I always felt like I was the odd one out in every conversation. I always thought of my opinions to be less than everyone else’s. I was always afraid of speaking up because my argument could be dumb. I’ve slowly realised that my opinions DO matter and I SHOULD have a reasonable say in the matter.
I cannot pin point to the time this change within me started to happen. I do realise one thing though. My arguments, opinions and self-confidence started to sound wiser and flow better when I figured out what I was good at and stuck by it. I think the key to finding your voice is being comfortable in your own skin, not just how you look, but how you feel about yourself, what you do for a living, the friends you surround yourself with. Finding happiness is key. It’s necessary.
I also figured out how important it is to sit in silence, with your own thoughts, and think. Are you at peace with yourself? What makes you tick? Are you happy with your life? Do you want to change something? Are you comfortable with your career?
Listening to others will help you develop more sides to each perspective. Your voice is important but it shouldn’t triumph over anyone else’s.
Find someone who believes in you. That will make all the difference in the world. Whether it’s your partner, parents, friends, ANYONE; I’m absolutely certain there’s someone who’s got your back.
Finding your voice takes time. But it feels like you can take over the world when you do.
Dress: Topshop // Shoes: Next
